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It Marsh be love

Spend a penny on Michelle!

It’s a jungle out there in the ever-confusing world of dating, and know-one knows this better than our very own leopard-print lovely, Michelle Marsh.

‘Oh no, don't make me bring that up,’ shrieked top-removing tabloid tease Meesh, when MegaStar quizzed her on her romantic life.

'I'd rather not mention my worst-ever date,’ added the bounteously-bazonkered Oldhamite insistently, before going into full detail.

‘You see, I'd been looking forward to a really romantic night with this chap. I really had my hopes up.’

Stick with us. It gets worse - promise.

‘We had a lovely time and went back to my place. I ran a long, hot, deep bath and lit candles, setting the scene.

‘And then - oh God - this awful thing happened. The bloke I'd been out with came in and peed on my back.’

So you told laughing boy to zip up his flies and sling his hook for good, then, Michelle?

‘No - I ended up going out with him for five years!’

So that's where we've been going wrong...

Dry off and towel down with a sly gawp at MegaStar's photoshoot with magnificent Michelle.

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By: Stan Leigh, 21.04.08