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Monk Madden at Paris

Hilton or Monk... we know which one we'd cheer for

Two very different obsessions collide today with the news that hot as hell Sophie Monk may be hot under the collar with car crash no-grade talent, Paris Hilton.

La Hilton – who’s every god-forsaken Californian drawl is recorded and analysed – has just given a gushing interview with talk-show king David letterman about her passion for new boyfriend Benji Madden.

All well and fine, except our gossip antennae picked up recently that the much-admired Monk was meant to be engaged to lucky Madden.

Oops. Something’s got to give.

Our Aussie journo chums reckon the Monkster is on the make in Hollywood and will do anything to get noticed in LaLa land. The unkind sods.

While those Hilton watchers know there are fewer firing neutrons inside the skull of Paris than an amoeba. And any fool knows an amoeba is a single celled-animal often found in stagnant water.

We digress.

Hilton told gurning Letterman what a great guy the Good Charlotte rocker is, even suggesting she has swapped her party ways for nights in playing monopoly (wonder how many hotels she wins, although Get Out Of jail cards might be worth more).

And £10 for winning a beauty contest is hardly worth setting up the camcorder in the bedroom.

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By: Samuel Patrick, 13.05.08