Terry's captain call

Big English oak makes captain. So much for finesse and intelligence, then

After possibly the longest drawn out saga since Den and Ange we finally know who will lead England out against the Czech Republic tonight.

Having been passed around like gold medals in the Team GB camp, the captain’s armband has finally ended up on the sleeve of John Terry.

Rival Rio Ferdinand was with the Chelsea captain at the time of the announcement. ‘The first thing Rio did was turn and shake my hand.’ Promptly followed by a crushing of the knuckles and a Chinese burn, ruling him out of tonight’s game...

It was Terry sobbing like a baby that won him the honour worn by such greats as Bobby Moore. The moment Terry slipped and fluffed his chance of glory in the Champions League final, the tears flowed, the trainer ran on with toys to throw and a dummy to spit and the hard man of English football was reduced to a B list actress receiving an award.

Was this due to the disappointment of missing out on the winning the greatest club competition on the planet or that Terry knew he’d blown his chance of a ridiculous pay rise for another year?

Typically the England manager believes it is his character and attitude since then that have earned him the right to lead the team instead of Ferdinand or Gerrard.

‘I chose John because we need one captain with a big personality in every moment.’ DVD broken is it Fabio?

We predict a comfortable win for England tonight, the nation thinks we can win the World Cup (which is rightfully ours as we did invent the game), Terry is a hero... and then we begin the process of knocking him of his pedestal all over again.

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